Even when we screw up, life is on our side!

FYI: If you currently struggling with an eating disorder or are in recovery from an eating disorder, this post might be triggering for you. xo

Life is on our side. Life is always willing to be on our side. Even when we screw up, life is on our side. But Life also respects the fact that we have free will. And this means that we always have the power of choice in any given circumstance. What happens after we have made a choice is just the result of making a choice. Either it results in a positive effect or a negative effect.

I think we have the tendency to think life is only on our side when something positive happens. But when something negative happens as a result of a choice that we made, we have a tendency to go into victim mode. So, say you ate a food that really triggers you or you drank a drink that triggers you to overeat, or you texted a guy you know isn’t right for you. We sometimes have a tendency to go into victim mode. “Ugh, I can’t believe I did this again.”

If we’re truly committed to our spiritual path, we will further that statement. “Ugh, I can’t believe this happened again. Obviously there is a pattern being repeated here, which means there is a lesson to learn. I’m ready to work on it.”

I’ll give you a perfect example. Last night, I went to the beach with my girlfriends.  We had a beautiful picnic on the beach and enjoyed awesome salads and blueberries. Also included in the spread was a bag of multigrain chips. They’re gluten-free, so they’re fair game for me. But really, they’re not. After being in active recovery from an eating disorder, I know my trigger foods (the foods that I need to avoid at all costs). They include pretzels, popcorn, and anything that crosses that salty-crunchy line. For some people, it’s ice cream or cookies. For me, it’s salty snacky foods. I saw the chips and was like, “Oh sure, I’ll have a few. I can totally control myself.” I felt like I was far along enough in my recovery to do that.

Well, turns out not. Once the salty goodness hit my lips, I kept taking small handfuls and found myself mindlessly snacking and laughing away with my friends. We were having an awesome time but – mid third handful – I noticed that I was totally out of control! I asked my friend to take the chips away and she wrapped them up. Then, we continued on and had an awesome night.

Now, three years ago, that would have ruined my night. I would have beat myself up for mindlessly snacking and I would have woken up hung over from a binge. But yesterday, I didn’t do that. Even though I still mindlessly ate, I practiced three things that have totally improved my unhealthy patterns with food and, really, all of my unhealthy patterns:

1.) Forgive yourself

In the moment when I recognized that I had been mindlessly eating, that was a miracle. A miracle is simply a shift in perception from fear to love. So, the moment when I decided to stop mindlessly eating something I didn’t need and start doing what was more loving for myself, I shifted my perception and created a miracle. Then, I said to myself, “I choose to forgive myself for mindlessly eating.” and asked my friend to put them away.

2.) Play out the scene

After forgiving myself, I envisioned what it would look like if I kept eating. If I kept eating, I would feel out of control and would be more likely to binge when I got home and end up with a food hangover. I haven’t done that in so long and have no desire to go there. Whereas when I stop eating in the moment, I take control of the situation and feel discomfort – but it’s not nearly as painful as going on a 3-hour off-and-on binge.

3.) Remember who you are

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience. I do not view my body as a trash can. I view my body as a messenger of love and service. I can’t be overflowing  and clogging my body with trashy food.  I know that in order to show up and be of service to others, I need to first be of service to myself. If I neglect to serve myself, then I neglect others. And what good is that?

4.) It’s YOUR choice

In the end, it was my choice to mindlessly eat. Just own up to it. When we refuse to own up to our choices, it’s because we are refusing to accept our imperfections. I’m not perfect. I’m not a perfect eater and it’s okay! I made a wonky choice and then I did the best I could to fix it.

When we choose to accept that life happens FOR us and not TO us, our entire life begins to shift. We see our life as one big assignment instead of one big failure. We see opportunities instead of obstacles. And this is the key to a rich life. In my case, I saw this as an opportunity to recognize how far I’ve come in recovery to stop myself in the middle of a not-so-hot behavior, to shift my perception, and still move on with my night and have an awesome time with my girlfriends…to embrace all of the Love that was there in that moment.

That is a miracle.

What do you think? Are you in recovery or recovered? If so, how do you handle these situations? I’d love to know!

article source  : heatherwaxman.com/even-when-we-screw-up-life-is-on-our-side/