Even when we screw up, life is on our side!

FYI: If you currently struggling with an eating disorder or are in recovery from an eating disorder, this post might be triggering for you. xo

Life is on our side. Life is always willing to be on our side. Even when we screw up, life is on our side. But Life also respects the fact that we have free will. And this means that we always have the power of choice in any given circumstance. What happens after we have made a choice is just the result of making a choice. Either it results in a positive effect or a negative effect.

I think we have the tendency to think life is only on our side when something positive happens. But when something negative happens as a result of a choice that we made, we have a tendency to go into victim mode. So, say you ate a food that really triggers you or you drank a drink that triggers you to overeat, or you texted a guy you know isn’t right for you. We sometimes have a tendency to go into victim mode. “Ugh, I can’t believe I did this again.”

If we’re truly committed to our spiritual path, we will further that statement. “Ugh, I can’t believe this happened again. Obviously there is a pattern being repeated here, which means there is a lesson to learn. I’m ready to work on it.”

I’ll give you a perfect example. Last night, I went to the beach with my girlfriends.  We had a beautiful picnic on the beach and enjoyed awesome salads and blueberries. Also included in the spread was a bag of multigrain chips. They’re gluten-free, so they’re fair game for me. But really, they’re not. After being in active recovery from an eating disorder, I know my trigger foods (the foods that I need to avoid at all costs). They include pretzels, popcorn, and anything that crosses that salty-crunchy line. For some people, it’s ice cream or cookies. For me, it’s salty snacky foods. I saw the chips and was like, “Oh sure, I’ll have a few. I can totally control myself.” I felt like I was far along enough in my recovery to do that.

Well, turns out not. Once the salty goodness hit my lips, I kept taking small handfuls and found myself mindlessly snacking and laughing away with my friends. We were having an awesome time but – mid third handful – I noticed that I was totally out of control! I asked my friend to take the chips away and she wrapped them up. Then, we continued on and had an awesome night.

Now, three years ago, that would have ruined my night. I would have beat myself up for mindlessly snacking and I would have woken up hung over from a binge. But yesterday, I didn’t do that. Even though I still mindlessly ate, I practiced three things that have totally improved my unhealthy patterns with food and, really, all of my unhealthy patterns:

1.) Forgive yourself

In the moment when I recognized that I had been mindlessly eating, that was a miracle. A miracle is simply a shift in perception from fear to love. So, the moment when I decided to stop mindlessly eating something I didn’t need and start doing what was more loving for myself, I shifted my perception and created a miracle. Then, I said to myself, “I choose to forgive myself for mindlessly eating.” and asked my friend to put them away.

2.) Play out the scene

After forgiving myself, I envisioned what it would look like if I kept eating. If I kept eating, I would feel out of control and would be more likely to binge when I got home and end up with a food hangover. I haven’t done that in so long and have no desire to go there. Whereas when I stop eating in the moment, I take control of the situation and feel discomfort – but it’s not nearly as painful as going on a 3-hour off-and-on binge.

3.) Remember who you are

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience. I do not view my body as a trash can. I view my body as a messenger of love and service. I can’t be overflowing  and clogging my body with trashy food.  I know that in order to show up and be of service to others, I need to first be of service to myself. If I neglect to serve myself, then I neglect others. And what good is that?

4.) It’s YOUR choice

In the end, it was my choice to mindlessly eat. Just own up to it. When we refuse to own up to our choices, it’s because we are refusing to accept our imperfections. I’m not perfect. I’m not a perfect eater and it’s okay! I made a wonky choice and then I did the best I could to fix it.

When we choose to accept that life happens FOR us and not TO us, our entire life begins to shift. We see our life as one big assignment instead of one big failure. We see opportunities instead of obstacles. And this is the key to a rich life. In my case, I saw this as an opportunity to recognize how far I’ve come in recovery to stop myself in the middle of a not-so-hot behavior, to shift my perception, and still move on with my night and have an awesome time with my girlfriends…to embrace all of the Love that was there in that moment.

That is a miracle.

What do you think? Are you in recovery or recovered? If so, how do you handle these situations? I’d love to know!

article source  : heatherwaxman.com/even-when-we-screw-up-life-is-on-our-side/

Great Self Help Advice That You Should Follow

Do you want to improve your life? This article has some effective tips to help you improve yourself.

Find people you can relate to. This will help to boost your self-esteem as well as give you a bit of a break from the kind of people that spend their time badmouthing your dreams and goals every chance that they get.

Try perusing some books on personal development. A good book can help you find new ways to reach for your goals and improve yourself. Try to pick a volume that has already been well-received by others because poorly done books in this category are fairly common.

Pinpoint exactly what is blocking your progress. This has proven to be an obstacle for a large number of people. However, if you can figure out what your weakness is, it's the first step needed to change it. When you take each area and take action to improve it, the path to a better future is much smoother.

Let your personal principles guide your personal development. Most people have a system of beliefs and principles they subscribe to. Having a good foundation based on your core principles will benefit your sense of self esteem. It also demonstrates to other people an admirable consistency. This is a trait that others will find attractive.

Base your development plan on your values and goals. Working against these values will lead to frustration and failure. So instead, you should spend your efforts on things in your life that match up with your values. Consider each change a permanent improvement to your lifestyle.

Start giving other people compliments. Resist the urge to focus on the negative and instead speak out in kindness to others and you will find yourself being kinder to yourself, as well.

Instead of bragging about your accomplishments, ask those around you about what they are most proud of and what they've achieved. Placing your focus on others will help you recognize the potential of those around you.

Treat all people with respect and kindness. The way you deal with people speaks volumes about your character.

In order to help with depression, try to add extra complex carbohydrates to your diet. Serotonin can lower if you don't eat enough carbs. Add complex carbohydrates to your diet through increased consumption of fresh fruits and vegetables, brown rice and whole grains.

If you notice that you are consistently failing to meet your goals and live up to expectations, you should attempt to diagnose the probable causes. Find out some ideas online and look to others who have similar expectations. You might be trying to do too much at once, have the steps in the wrong order, or only taking half-measures when allocating resources.

Focus on learning how to stay calm in difficult circumstances, rather than becoming irrational and emotional. If you know how to keep a cool head during stressful times, then you will likely be able to handle most problems life sends your way. Learning to breathe deeply upon command can give you back your sense of control.

It shouldn't be scary to make big changes in your life. The really important thing is to keep your mind focused on the great benefits to your well-being and satisfaction that a rigorous program of self-improvement will provide.

Visit this website for more information.

How to Neutralize Stress and Create Inner Wellness

“Each patient carries his own doctor inside him. They come to us now knowing this truth. We are at our best when they give the doctor who resides within each patient a chance to go to work.” ~Albert Schweitzer

We live a world fraught with stress.

Our fast-paced, technological culture bombards us with sights and sounds that keep us geared up and speeding through life, spending too much time with our bodies in stress mode.

When we experience stress, whether a threat is real or perceived, our body responds by going into defense mode to protect us. In this state our bodies make, among other things, adrenaline and cortisol.

These hormones are healthy in small amounts but too much leads to a break down in our health and mood. Imagine revving the gas pedal of a car over and over and over again all day long. Our body has a similar accelerating response, and can wear us down if we don’t neutralize it.

We can learn to neutralize stress by using our bodies metaphorical “brake pedal”. Our brake pedal is used when we slow down, and spend time in calm, caring, and connected modes. When we slow down and connect with others, our bodies create what is called oxytocin, which helps us heal, build relationships, and relax.

With this in mind, here are a few ways to stay out of stress mode, put on the break, and improve inner wellness.

Experience silence, stillness, and solitude

For many people silence and stillness is a rare commodity. They live in a noisy city or have a high intensity schedule that keeps them on the go. If you relate to this type of lifestyle it’s important to create a healthy rhythm for your life.

To counter the ongoing noxious stimulation, find ways to nurture your five senses with healing sights, sounds, smells, tastes and physical sensations.

Spend time in nature and other calming environments. Use incessant and other therapeutic scents. Get a massage. Set aside at least fifteen minutes each day where you are free to relax quietly without any distractions.

Smiling

The way we express ourselves through facial expressions affects our sense of self and overall emotional state. When we frown or have negative expressions it creates an inner stress. The biology of smiling is for our own well-being.

The saying “fake it till you make” is an example of how altering our demeanor and expressions alters our state of mind. Practice smiling a few more times each day. Take a deep breath, relax your facial muscles, and put a smile on your face.

Physical touch

A good oxytocin builder is physical touch. Some research says we need seven to eight hugs per day for the right amount of oxytocin. Human contact puts us in a positive state and is a natural source of feel good chemicals.

Unfortunately many of us are so busy and on the go we forget about the comfort of human contact. Find safe people to hug and connect with. Whether it is a spouse, child, family members, close friends, or other people you trust, start incorporating physical touch into your life. Nothing creepy of course, just pats on the back, hugs, or a shake of the hand.

Live in a sea of forgiveness

We have all struggled at one time or another with letting-go of our proverbial baggage. That is why forgiveness is so valuable. It promotes healing by ridding us of the emotional baggage that can weigh us down.

Forgiveness helps us approach situations with empathy, insight, and understanding. We can focus less on the negative and prepare ourselves to respond instead of react as we go through our day, which helps maintain inner wellness.

Activate your right brain

A great way to work through stress is to find a creative outlet. Using music, painting, writing, and other artistic outlets can help us to break free from a negative narrow state of mind. This can also help us problem solve and expand our perspective. Find ways to express and process your emotions.

Hopefully these ideas helped you learn about how our body responds to stress, and how our body also produces chemicals that can promote wellness.

Some of these skills may seem very simple, but they can help you take care of yourself both emotionally and physically. Figure out what tips will work best for you and make the choice today to create inner wellness.

Article source : http://shakeoffthegrind.com/emotional-health/how-to-neutralize-stress-and-create-inner-wellness

7 Ways To Become A Positive Person

As is often the case on the Internet, you can find the best ways to offer service to your visitors by simply going through the list of keywords that people have used to find your site, and that is the case here today.

Recently someone found the Today is that Day website (specifically this post) by searching MSN for the phrase “what will make me positive”.

Well, the short answer to that question is that no person or set of circumstances can make someone else positive. Positivity is something that comes from the inside, and it is up to us as individuals to decide the level of influence that outside factors will have on our own attitude.

However, there are certain things that you can do which will keep you on the right track, so to our new visitor (and everyone else), here is a list of 7 ways to become a positive person. Enjoy!

1)  Mind your feelings, Luke!

One of the hardest things about keeping a positive attitude (or about self improvement in general), is remembering to constantly focus on the desired end result.

Life throws lots of negativity at us and it can sometimes get to the point where lashing out against the onslaught is nothing less than self defense. However, if you create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – you will still have created that negative state of mind.

If you need to, bust out your Jedi mind control and get those emotions under control, lest they control you!

2) Take out the Trash

As you learn more and more about having a positive attitude), it may become easier to take on the belief that the higher you get, the more you can look down on others. Don’t do that.

However, no matter how open-minded and understanding you manage to become – even in the face of adversity – there will always be people who regularly insist on bringing negativity into your life. Get rid of them.

Yes, yes, I know. You can’t get rid of your family members, you can’t fire you co-workers, blah, blah, blah. No, you may not be able to completely get rid of them, but you can limit your interaction with them, and you can tell them to take a hike when they are being negative.

What’s the worst that could happen? Some negative family member or annoying co-worker stops talking to you?? Don’t be afraid to tell negative people to get out of your bubble!

3) Reach for the Golden Nuggets

Okay, so what about those situations where there is negative energy, and you just can’t get away? Look for the good!

There is some positive aspect to even the most mind-numbing situations, and by finding that silver lining, you can turn a perceived bad set of circumstances into something that works towards your own interests.

Having trouble figuring out how to be happy about obnoxious teenagers, what is good about your jerk of a boss, or what possible positive outcome could happen as a result of your car breaking down?

Each of these things gives us contrast. They teach us how to behave (or not behave), they teach us to be better prepared, or they simply teach us to enjoy the times in our lives when those circumstances are not present.

Would you really know how to appreciate a roaring fire and a cup of hot cocoa if you had never come close to freezing to death after walking a mile in the snow after your car broke down?

4) Plan your good Samaritan Effort

Every day, plan to do something completely selfless. No, it can’t be something that looks selfless, but is actually all about you. It has to be something that you do for someone else, and you expect absolutelynothing in return.

This act doesn’t have to be some major undertaking, either. Do a chore around the house that you normally wouldn’t do. Bring your co-worker a cup of their favorite beverage from the coffee shop. Buy someone lunch. Help an elderly person load their groceries into their car.

Do something like that every day. In fact, plan it out in advance, so that you are sure to get it done. Can’t see what helping other people has to do with becoming a positive person?

Try it every day for a week and then come back and post a comment on this blog about how great you feel!

5) Plaster a Smile On

When all else fails, smile like you mean it – even if you don’t! Human beings are naturally social creatures, and even if we are in the foulest of moods, by interacting with other people in a positive manner, we start the slow or even sudden climb to feeling more positive.

Whenever I workout at the gym, I have zero interest in talking to other people. I am there to workout, I am very focused, and I would prefer not to be disturbed.

However, when someone motions for me to help them with something, and I begrudgingly take off my headphones so I can hear what they are saying, something miraculous happens:

I help them, or answer their question, and then I feel better afterwards! Even if I just wrap my headphones back around my head and go back to working out in my undisturbed manner, I always feel better for having interacted with and assisted another person.

6) Mainline the Good Stuff

Experience positive and uplifting circumstances throughout each day. It’s just not possible to run around in a negative mood all the time if you consistently experience and appreciate things that you consider to be positive.

Everyone has their own definition of what is positive for them, but here is a brief list of things that you can experience frequently throughout each day:

• Affirmations – No, not affirmations that you say (although those are great, too), but rather affirmations that you see. Put uplifting messages on your computer wallpaper or around your office, set up your email program to send you affirmations at certain times each day, use your cell phone or PDA to send yourself positive messages and reminders at preselected intervals.
• Audio content – Listen to empowering audio while you are driving, on your computer, or on your portable music player when you are working out. Again, by constantly inputting positive information, it just won’t be possible to maintain a negative state of mind.
• Look around – Everyone has things in their immediate surroundings at any given time that they can be grateful for. However, if you don’t take the time to consciously appreciate those things, you will get into the habit of just taking them for granted. Every few hours just stop what you are doing, and for 5 minutes just look around wherever you are and appreciate things that you normally just take for granted.

7) Remember why you Care

And last, but hardly least, remind yourself several times per day (or several dozen!) that you want to have a positive outlook on life, and remind yourself about why you even care.

You can use exercises like those mentioned above all day long, but if you don’t have a true desire to actually have a positive attitude, then these types of activities won’t do you much good. If you choose to live your life as a positive person, then you must have some reason for choosing that path.

Each time a potentially negative influence crosses your path, remind yourself of your reason for wanting to be a positive person. Your desire to be positive will outweigh your desire to have a negative reaction to the outside stimulus, and after awhile this entire process will become second nature.

Article source : http://todayisthatday.com/7-ways-to-become-a-positive-person/